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Transcription of Letter
From
Mrs. J.R. Derbyshire
62, Friars Avenue
Delapre
Northampton
England
To
Mr J. Derbyshire
57, North Perkins Avenue
Elmsford 10523
New York
U.S.A.
NOVEMBER I6th.
My darling son,
Thank you for super letter and dollars it is very much appreciated, I have put it in the bank it's usually
about 2 weeks before it's
converted. I'm very pleased you like the suit and the wallet love there is another suit here , but It's a summer
one I will send to you next
year , it looks like a very nice one. I am sending you a polo-necked jersey dear, I'll send it by air in another
week or so , I have to
send Judy her parcel this coming week , but yours won't be very much, so I will try and send it by next
weekend.
We have two lovely days John, warm sunshine and really nice. Dad has a bad cold and is quite poorly but you know what
he's like he won't stay in bed,
and I don't think he keeps warm enough. He won't have warm sheets on his bed , he will have nylon ones and I don't
think they are warm enough,
and windows wide open even when it's really cold. I can't stand the cold that Dad can. We don't need anything ,
dear we have plenty to eat, and
are snug enough so don't worry, if you can help at the end of January and end of April which are the two most heavy
months for gas and electricity,
I should be grateful, otherwise we manage very well. I don't want you to feel under any obligation.
I'm glad things are going well for you my son. If Dad criticises your girl friends dear don't let it bother you, he
means well, and loves you very
much if somewhat selfishly,only perfection for you is good enough in his eyes and you know how predujiced he is he's
too old to alter now. We have
come through some unhappy times John I hope you understand now things that perhaps made you unhappy years ago, I look
back and blame myself for many
things , but running a home and a demanding job hating leaving you and Judy, always wandering if you were alright,
I really resented so many
things I wanted Dad to be more ambitious and was resentful when it seemed to me I had to be the breadwinner and to make
any decisions in the home.
We never communicated with each other like you do today, either through pride or ignorance. I could have left many
times, but never leave you and
Judy, and Dad would not let me take you. So the years have flown my love, and all bitterness passed. If you love a girl
my son, and marry, never
harbour ill feelings, let her know by word and deed that you love her don't take her for granted, know her sexual
needs, after all to my mind it's
the driving force in life and should be shared happily, no marriage can survive without this harmony, and has really
been the cause of all the
problems in my marriage, Dad just didn't want to know. I have never unfaithful, but it has not been easy. I
am — or was a very loving
nature, perhaps this is why I leaned on you both so much, I had to know someone loved me. I am telling you this my
love, so that perhaps it will help
you to understand me, the quarrels we had and how unhappy two people can make each other. I hope and think you and Judy
will do better.
I'm content now love, and all things considered I think my darlings have done us proud. Judy was always more prickly
than you, I suffered for her
and with her but didn't know how to get to her, we just seemed to hurt each other. I was on her side, but Dads attitude
made things so difficult, it
was almost unbearable. I wanted Tess from the start and it grieved me so
much I couldn't have them
both home at the time, I still reproach myself that I didn't do enough for her and understand her better. I have
preached enough darling, but I love
you all and your well being and happiness is all I ask now. If you do decide on marriage John give it a great deal of
thought first, it saves a lot
of misery, and no doubt listening to pals problems you know it is harder to undo and where children are incolved, it is
very traumatic for them.
After Xmas I am going to have some swimming lessons, as I must be able to go into the pool with Tessa. I'm hoping to go
next September. How about
coming with me across U.S.A. it would be marvellous. I've made a Xmas cake
Michael Cobbins flew back to
Australia last week his Mum
wouldn't go after all but he's very good to her. He came round & had a chat with Dad. He has his own business &
has become a naturalized
Aussie, wouldn't ever live in U.K. again.!! Well, my love, take care, hope no more bumps,[1]
thinking of you,
Loving Mother X X X X X X X X
[ … ]
Will write again soon.