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Transcription of Letter
From
J R Derbyshire
62 Friars Avenue
Delapre
Northampton
England
To
John Derbyshire
126 Stevens Avenue
Valhalla
New York 10595
U.S.A.
62 Friars Av Thursday 2-2-78
Dear John,
I posted a letter to you on Monday & received yours yesterday & I thought I would answer
it now as if I dont, I keep putting off writing & the days go by. I do understand about letter writing I was
the same at your age, but
then it used to take six-seven weeks for them to arrive
Well your Nephew had his first
birthday
yesterday I did'nt go as the weather was, & has been for 2 weeks, gales, Snow, Rain & I like the fireside
in this weather as I get
older.
You would like my advice from my point of view would you & what it was like when I was your
age, nearly
47 years ago well I can
tell you it was wonderful up to 1930 when Noel was born I live a full life at games & only lived one day at a
time. life was slower very
much come a day, go a day, & I was single. With the girls I was always careful no to get them pregnant & a
sheaf was the only protection
there was. the only time I did'nt use one, Noel was the out come & gone was my happy days. You see I was tied
& I never want that to happen
to you because its soul destroying. like the comedian said (there are two stages in a womans life that man know nothing
about, that is before &
after he marries her), & always remember she marries you, not you marry her. She will tell you any lies, promise
you the moon, so if you are
soft hearted that's your lot. now the position you are in with Jays sister. get out a quick as you can. I told you
never to shit on your own doorstep
& you do just that. I see a lot of unpleasantness in doing so with Jay & his wife, but there is no other way
because you will get worse than
a living death if you dont. I have told you always marry where there is plenty of money then you can drop one another
without worry. You say you get
on well with your girl friend no wonder I bet she is laughing her head off behind your back. Your life will
be dull till the better
weather comes along it would be worse if you were wed: you can please your self now.
In your job they dont pay you for what you do
but to see
its done & your ability to know its done right & to working over people. if they are doing thier job right
leave them alone, if they are not
dont hesitate to let them know & make them do it. Any boss who is liked by the workers under him is a failure. You
dont have to be married to
have companionship Women dont want you to have any interest outside of thier selves
The most important thing is, You, me,
Aunty Cissy, Mike
should never have married, we
are what are termed loners That we can be quite happy with our own company & to marry if you are a loner is
hopeless & not fair to the
other party. I tried to tell your Mum: when I met her first but I think she was afraid of being left on the shelf, as
it was war time & I must
have looked attractive compared to what was left in civies but that is why I advise you not to marry without the
Proviso that she has enough money or
a good job so you can part when the time comes, without heart break or hardship to anyone & that time will come for
sure, & as for old age
dont worry if you live to be 100 you will feel like I do now I am quite happy on my own. Ordinary people
cant marry & be compatable
its not human & in our own case its impossible.
So dont worry enjoy every day & only work at something you enjoy doing & old
age will
look after its self & at 79 I have sampled all & looking back would only have altered one thing marriage
& spoiling a good girls
life as that is what I did to your Mother She deserved better than me & the trouble I couldnt alter my ways
as I was a loner. I love you
& Judith & looked after you & enjoyed your company but its your Mother who you owe the bigest debt, you
were her only cause for living. I
adore all my Grandchildren & would lay my life down for any of you, because you are all I never was. (Human): I
often & still do, as I look
back to war (1914) when we went over the top & Pals were killed only six inches away from you (why?) I used, &
still do believe they had more
to offer the world than I did & it should have been me in thier place.
I will have a good talk with you when we meet as I am not much
good
at expressing myself on paper. Remember everyone has at least 1 good book in him or her I could write wonderful
books if I could only express
myself I could talk a book in a dictiphone & may try on day as you have a good knowledge of science
fiction than me try a book on
that subject Make a person with unnatural power & let your imagination rip but be clever enough not to write
something which can be
questioned. I only wish I could type I would have a go As for technological marvels, after all its only the old
way speeded up, when a article
is hand made every part is indivual & correct when mechanically made the tool wear is not altered till the
parts made are well over size
hence your perfection is gone result shoddy article. George Orwell was right. When I was a boy it was the happiest
years of my life. everything
seemed secure & static horse & cart no motors we jogged along quite happy of course I
was lucky as my Dad always had
a good paying job & we wanted for nothing & Family life was wonderful Britain ruled the world. how I wish
I could capture them again.
War is the cause of all advancement — human & material. The doctors have plenty of bodies to experiment
on & there were ideas, in
war, that had to be tried out, money or material immaterial just go ahead, so progress. Run out of Paper
when we meet again I will argue
it out with you
love
Dad