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[Music clip: From Haydn's Derbyshire Marches]
01 — Intro. Franz Josef Haydn there, ladies and gentlemen, and your authorially genial host John Derbyshire here with yet another edition of Radio Derb. I think that the front page of my New York Post, every day this week, has run a headline about David Letterman, whose show I think I watched one time back around 2006. Well, in a spirit of contrariety, the next half hour will contain no further references to David Letterman whatsoever.
02 — Olympics to Rio. [Clip of "Rolling Down to Rio] Last weeks' Radio Derb was taped before the decision on the 2016 Olympics was announced. I assumed that the charm, eloquence, and multiculturalism of our president would win the day for his developer pals in Chicago and their political clients, I mean of course their other political clients. My sympathies were therefore with the unfortunate people of Chicago, who would spend the next thirty years paying off the bills incurred by Chicago's vainglorious mayor and his pals in the property rackets. Well, Chicagoans, you're off the hook. In a stunning rebuff to the most charismatic human being ever to walk the earth, and also to his incredibly accomplished wife, the Olympic committee picked Rio de Janiero, down in Brazil, to host the Olympics. For those of us who are both Republicans and Olympic avoiders, this was a double treat. Our nation has been spared a cheesy totalitarian spectacle, not to mention a great deal of pointless expense and disruption, and our lefty president has had a great big Olympic finger poked in his eye. The howls of anguish and humiliation coming from the White House are music to our ears. Down in Rio, meanwhile, they are celebrating, though heaven only knows why. Perhaps Rionians are hoping that hosting the Olympics will force their government to do something about their horrendous crime rate.
03 — Afghan terrorist. We've been getting more background on Najibullah Zazi, the 24-year-old Afghan immigrant charged with plotting a terror attack on New York City. He came here ten years ago, when he was fourteen. He belongs to, and I'm quoting here from an AP report dated October 4, "a large tribal clan with hundreds of relatives living in the U.S." Well, isn't that nice? He lived in a little enclave of Afghans in Queens, New York, in the same building as a jihadist Imam known to have terrorist links. He flunked out of high school and ran a coffee cart on Wall Street. He went off to Pakistan for terrorist training last year, came back and moved to Denver, where he drove an airport shuttle bus. He was a good worker, quiet and punctual, though a bit cranky about religion. In other words, he was completely indistinguishable from any number of other Muslim immigrants. The perfect terrorist. How many others are there? Who knows? Oh, here's another one: 19-year-old Jordanian immigrant Hosam Maher Husein Smadi, arrested by the FBI in Texas for plotting to blow up a Dallas office building. A keen frequenter of Arabic internet discussion groups, Smadi wrote in March that, quote, "We shall attack Americans in their own homes. We shall attack them in a manner that hurts, an attack that shakes the world." End quote. Again, Smadi was a quiet and friendly fellow, well liked by everyone. Immigration officials tell us that Mr. Smadi was here illegally. He seems to have overstayed a six month visitor's visa. Here's another one: 21-year-old Betim Kaziu of Brooklyn, New York, indicted the other day for conspiracy to commit murder abroad and support foreign terrorists. The U.S. attorney's office tells us he wanted to join the militant group Al-Shabaab in Somalia and to, quote, "take up arms against perceived enemies of Islam." Mr. Kaziu is a Kosovo Albanian Muslim by origin, now a U.S. citizen. Over to Springfield Illinois, where Justice Department officials said 29-year-old Michael Finton, also known as Talib Islam, drove a vehicle he believed contained a ton of explosives to the state Courthouse, hoping to blow it up. You've got to think these cases — I could have quoted a dozen others — are the tip of an iceberg. You've got to wonder how long our luck will hold before one of these jihadis slips through the net. Isn't there any defensive measure we can take? Well, nothing foolproof, but just stopping Muslims from settling in our country, and asking noncitizens from Muslins countries to leave, would reduce the scope of the problem wonderfully. It wouldn't eliminate it: Michael Finton is native-born American. It would sure save the FBI a few million man-hours, though, and cut down on the chances of another atrocity. Why don't we do this? Political correctness, of course. We're unwilling to hurt people's feelings. As I keep saying: Better dead than rude. Well, let's congratulate ourselves on our open-handed generosity to all the peoples of the world, without discrimination. Then, next week or next year, when a few hundred people are killed and maimed in an act of terrorism, let's console ourselves, and their grieving relatives, with the thought that they died in an atmosphere of moral purity.
04 — Obama disses Lama. The political left is very big on human rights in far places. Here was a joint statement by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton back in April 2008, urging then-president George W. Bush to boycott the opening ceremonies of the Peking Olympics in protest at the way the ChiComs had crushed demonstrations in Tibet, quote: "If the Chinese do not take steps to help stop the genocide in Darfur and to respect the dignity, security, and human rights of the Tibetan people, then the President should boycott the opening ceremonies," end quote. Well, that was then, this is now. Barack Obama has made it known he will not meet with the Dalai Lama on the holy man's current visit to the U.S.A. Even though I'm a supporter of the Tibetans, and believe that we should not allow the rape of Tibet by the ChiComs to be forgotten, I'm not altogether unsympathetic to my government taking a cold-eyed approach here. The ChiComs hold a huge mountain of our debt. We badly need co-operation from them in coping with Iran and North Korea. Not that it's likely we'll get much, but every little helps. I can see the case for not ticking them off by meeting the Dalai Lama, though I think on balance I would have decided the other way. My heart does go out, though, to all those yuppie liberal Obama supporters who now have to scrape the FREE TIBET stickers from their rear bumpers.
05 — Healthcare for The Race. The most openly racist organization in the United States, one so openly racist it actually calls itself "National Council of the Race," is making a big push to make sure that illegal aliens are covered by the universal health care plans that Congress is currently chewing over. Quote from Janet Murguia, president of the National Council of the Race, quote: "We know that politically it's very difficult right now to take on the issue of undocumenteds [but] there's no reason why we shouldn't be trying to cover as many people as possible, certainly when it comes to undocumented children. Our goal should be to have health care reform for everyone." End quote. That word "undocumented" from Ms. Murguia's mouth of course means foreigners living illegally in the U.S.A. But now if foreigners living illegally in the U.S.A. are to be covered, why not other foreigners? Isn't there discrimination going on here? Take Ethiopia, for example. You've got a population of 85 million there, raddled with chronic diseases like malaria, meningitis, typhoid, bacterial diarrhea, and schistosomiasis. They have the world's lowest life expectancy — 55. It's not their fault they don't have a border with the U.S.A., so they can walk in and use our health care. Where's the equity in leaving them out? Obviously we should be providing health care to the whole world. A foreigner's a foreigner. The mere accident of finding himself living inside the so-called borders of the so-called United States, shouldn't be grounds for discriminating in his favor, should it? Of course not. In any case, Ms. Murguia needn't worry. Neither of the healthcare bills currently in Congress contains any provision for verifying legal residence. Republican attempts to introduce such measures were defeated by Democrat votes — quite rightly, of course, as they would have been tantamount to racial profiling. So when one or other of these bills passes, we'll be providing free health care to several million foreigners, though only ones who've settled here. Foreigners prevented from settling here by our cruel, capricious, and racist immigration rules, like the wretched inhabitants of Ethiopia, will have to wait until the next Congressional session to get their health coverage.
06 — Martyrs' reward. Saudi cleric Sheikh Muhammad al-Munajid is an old favorite of mine. This is the guy who came out against the 2008 Olympics, calling them "the bikini Olympics" and saying they were, quote, "Satanic." Soon after that he was in the news again with a fatwa against Mickey Mouse, whom he described as, quote, "one of Satan's soldiers" and authorizing that Mickey should, according to Islamic law, quote, "be killed in all cases." Well, here comes the Sheikh again, telling Saudi Arabia's Al-Majd TV that the 72 virgins waiting in Paradise for the Islamically pure in heart are guaranteed to be white. Quote, as transcribed by MEMRI:
Allah said that the black-eyed virgins are beautiful white young women, with black pupils and very white retinas [retinas? should be "sclera," surely], whose skin is so delicate and bright that it causes confusion.
Allah said that they are like hidden pearls. They are all the same age, morally and physically beautiful. They are like precious gems and pearls in their splendor, their clarity, their purity, and their whiteness.
So there you are, all you hesitant suicide bombers. You're not just guaranteed 72 virgins, but they're also guaranteed to be white chicks! What more encouragement do you need? Strap on that belt and set the timer, Walid.
07 — UN Human Rights Council. Back in May this year, the Obama administration attained one of its most cherished goals, one it had sought from almost the day Obama took office: it got the U.S.A. elected to the United Nations Human Rights Council. The same day that we were elected to this august body also saw the election of 8 other nations with deep concern for human rights worldwide: Bangladesh, China, Jordan, Kyrgyzstan, Saudi Arabia, Cuba, Mexico, and Uruguay. I'm going to excuse Uruguay, for which I've developed a soft spot, but look at those others. Well, a man is known by the company he keeps … unless, of course, the company suddenly, like the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, reveals an aspect hitherto unsuspected in twenty years' acquaintance … but let that pass. So here we are in the U.N. Human Rights Council. What have our diplomats been doing this past five months? They've been busy working up a joint resolution with that exemplar of freedom, human rights, and civilized values … Egypt. What's the topic of the resolution? Freedom of expression. So our ambassador, Douglas Griffiths, and his Egyptian counterpart, Hashim Badr, have stood shoulder to shoulder to make a sturdy defense of freedom of expression against dictatorships like China, Cuba, and Saudia Arabia, who seek to stifle it, right? Not exactly. Listen to the language of the resolution — which, by the way, should you want to look it up, rejoices in the title "Resolution A/HRC/12/L.14/Rev.1." Quote:
The Resolution states its concern that incidents of racial and religious intolerance, discrimination and related violence, as well as of negative racial and religious stereotyping continue to rise around the world …
What's going on here, listeners, is that the Human Rights Council is dominated by an Islamic bloc called the Organization of Islamic Conference, and they are not going to stand for any more Mohammed cartoons. The Egyptian delegate is their front man, and our own ambassador, Douglas Griffiths, can't do wnough to please him. What else does this Resolution do? Well, it very generously, quote:
Recognizes the positive contribution that the exercise of the right to freedom of expression, particularly by the media, including through information and communication technologies such as the Internet, and full respect for the freedom to seek, receive and impart information can make to the fight against racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance and to preventing human rights abuses …
Lemme translate that for you: "Freedom of expression is a jolly good thing when it's used to expose the names and addresses of people who draw cartoons insulting Mohammed, so that jihadists can find the cartoonists and hack them to death." However, the Resolution, quote:
expresses regret at the promotion by certain media of false images and negative stereotypes of vulnerable individuals or groups of individuals, and at the use of information and communication technologies such as the Internet for purposes contrary to respect for human rights, in particular the perpetration of violence against and exploitation and abuse of women and children, and disseminating racist and xenophobic discourse or content …
Bottom line: Obama's man on the Human Rights Council, in collaboration with a jihadist stooge, has labored mightily to produce a resolution declaring that freedom of speech is limited to politically correct speech, as defined by the Human Rights Council. Kiss your First Amendment goodbye, America.
08 — We Are Doomed. Indulge me please, gentle listener. For the next few broadcasts I'm going to do a wee bit of book promotion on Radio Derb by reading a brief extract from this Christmas season's political best-seller We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism. The book is organized thematically, with one chapter on diversity, one on politics, one on the culture, and so on. Well, here's a passage from Chapter 12, which deals with the economy.
Thus the U.S.A. slips gradually into the managerial state James Burnham warned of. He was a little early with his prediction, but it is coming true at last. We shall strut and fret on the world stage for a little longer as a great power, meddling for a few more years in the everlasting rancors of the Middle East and the irremediable miseries of Africa, till the thud of bombs, the whine of missiles, and the rattle of begging bowls is drowned out at last by the clink-clink of devaluing dollars.
At that point the internationalist pretense will be over. We shall retreat to our natural condition as an Inland Empire, a Middle Kingdom ruled by corrupt, arrogant bureaucrats, who treat us like the peasants of imperial China.
Perhaps we shall paste pictures of these Gods of Wealth to our doors at "holiday season," before hustling our children off to the examination halls in hopes of their one lifetime shot at security and prosperity — government work.
09 — Miscellany. Here's our wee miscellany of brief items.
Item: Harry Connick Jr. reaffirmed the U.S.A.'s role as the prissy humorless schoolmarm of the world on a visit to Australia the other day. He was one of the judges on an Australian TV show, a sort of knock-off of the old Gong Show, when a troup of young performers from Sydney did a Jackson Five act … in blackface. [Scream] You can see the whole thing on Youtube — search on "Jackson Jive." The Aussies laughed at the act. One of the Aussie judges gonged it, but the second one scored it at seven. Harry gave them zero, and an angry little lecture in political correctness. Perhaps when we've finished putting Afghanistan to rights, we should send an expeditionary force to Australia to enforce political correctness down there.
Item: Charlie Rangel may have dodged a bullet. Attempts by House Republicans to get the tax-cheating tax-law-writer removed from his job as head of the Ways and Means Committee were foiled when Democrats voted to refer the motion to the ongoing Ethics Committee inquiry. The inquiry's going nowhere, and Rangel will long since have retired to his Caribbean villa before it rolls out anything critical of him. Still, House Democrats at least had to commit themselves to the referral, and that will be good fodder for their opponents at election time. "You had a chance to bring this bag of sleaze to account," opponents can say, "and you wouldn't do it." Worth a few votes, surely.
Item: China, Russia, France, Brazil, and the Arab oil countries have begun the process of decoupling oil trading from the U.S. dollar. By 2018 they hope that all oil dealings will be denominated based on a basket of currencies including the yen, the rouble, the renminbi, and gold. The brits will have to join the euro zone if they want to play the game, which they surely will, since their own North Sea oil reserves will have run out by then. Oddly enough, 2018 is quite a popular guess for the date at which the U.S.A. might default on a debt issue — a catastrophic event for us, and also for any other nation still committed to the dollar. The rest of the world is looking at our multi-trillion dollar deficits stretching into the future, and taking defensive measures. Hard to blame them.
Item: How's that border fence coming? Remember how there was supposed to be 700 miles of it built by the end of next year? And the Bush administration appropriated two billion for it last year? So how are they doing? Not very well, it seems. As of February, less than 40 miles had been built. The rate of building is set to slow even more, if not stop altogether: the 2010 Homeland Security Bill, just out of conference, doesn't fund it. There are all sorts of weasely explanations for this: we have to prove the technology, yada yada, like a wall is cutting-edge technology. The fundamental reason is of course that the Obama administration doesn't want a wall, nor any other impediment to the USA filling up with another twenty million clients of the welfare state, and reliably Democratic voters.
Item: Almost got a clean plate here, folks; just a few final scraps to clean up. In Randolph, Massachusetts a man shot his neighbor after a dispute about where to dump some leaves. A judge in Mobile, Alabama went on trial this week, charged with inviting jail inmates into his office and spanking them with a paddle in return for lenient sentences. A Muslim soccer team in Paris France has refused to play a team of homosexuals … though they said they would be willing to push over a wall on them. A schoolteacher in Murfreesboro, Tennessee has been charged with stealing lunch money from her third grade students. People in New York are being encouraged to send text messages to beavers — some kind of scientific experiment, don't ask me. And the only surviving Union Jack flag from the battle of Trafalgar, flown on one of Admiral Nelson's warships, is up for auction in London.
10 — Signoff. There you have it, listeners. A busy week, even away from the CBS late-night studios. Tune in again next week for more of the sad, the bad, and the mad from Radio Derb.
[Music clip: From Haydn's Derbyshire Marches]