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[Music clip: From Haydn's Derbyshire March No. 2, organ version]
01 — Intro. And Radio Derb is on the air! Christmas greetings, ladies and gentlemen, from your seasonally genial host John Derbyshire, broadcasting to you from the bosky North Shore of Long Island.
Coming up to any major cultural festival, there is a universal human instinct to tidy up unfinished business as best one is able, and to arrive in the post-festival future with one's affairs neatly in order and one's conscience clear. I surmise that the instinct is universal at any rate, just on the grounds that it kicks in for me around Christmas and for my lady when Chinese New Year approaches.
In that spirit I'm going to confess delinquency and beg forgiveness.
I have a huge backlog of emails from kind listeners and readers offering suggestions, recommendations, advice, and just general warm good wishes. The rule as always is that everything non-abusive gets read and pondered, and where suitable plagiarized, but not necessarily acknowledged with an actual answer. If I answered all my emails in the thoughtful terms most of them deserve, I should do little else.
Furthermore, generous listeners send in donations, both to the donate button on my own website and, for the tax break, to the donation page at VDARE.com. I do better with these, having a strong sense of how hard it is to wrest a living from the world and a corresponding appreciation for anyone willing to share their hard-won gains with me. Where I have a street address to respond to, I send out a hand-written thank-you note much more often than not; but again, I fall behind, sometimes by a month or more. I am sorry; I do my best.
These remarks also apply of course to people who send me Christmas cards or gifts, for all of which I am again humbly and profoundly grateful, but simply unable to respond as they deserve, except in a random and tardy fashion.
I offer gratitude, beg forgiveness, and promise to try harder. Heartfelt thanks and a very Merry Christmas to one and all, to you and those you care for!
What's that, Ethel?
[Clip: Ethel Merman, "Let's go on with the show.".]
02 — The SPLC buys respect. I am thrilled to report that Radio Derb now numbers among its listeners the Southern Poverty Law Center.
Yes, in between figuring how to invest their six-digit salaries and touring the auction houses to furnish their multi-million-dollar homes, the poverty warriors of Montgomery, Alabama find time to tune in to my own humble vaporings.
Thus on December 21st the fearless champions of social justice posted an article headlined Ann Coulter Attends VDARE Christmas Party — Her Second White Nationalist Event In Three Months.
Breathlessly they report that, quote:
On Dec. 9, Coulter made her way to the party hosted by VDARE, a white nationalist website founded by English immigrant Peter Brimelow. The site — which is named after Virginia Dare, said to be the first white child born in the New World — focuses on opposing non-white immigration into the United States, but has also published the writings of anti-Semites.
How did the stalwart defenders of the poor find out about Ann's dropping in on our Christmas party? Why, from listening to the December 9th Radio Derb podcast. Quote:
At the event, Coulter granted an impromptu interview with another English white nationalist and regular VDARE contributor John Derbyshire.
It's always flattering to be noticed, of course; but after I got through blushing with pride, the thing that mainly registered with me about this piece was the journalistic shoddiness.
If you have a certain line of work, you naturally view the productions of other people working in the same line with a critical eye. As someone who writes internet commentary for a living, that's how I approach an article like this one. In the case of the SPLC, whose net assets currently stand at close to a third of a billion dollars, I would expect the standards of their output to be way higher than those of the far less well-endowed outlets I write for.
It's disappointing, therefore, to see how sloppy their work is. There is an error of fact in the very second sentence of this one. Virginia Dare is not said to be the first white child born in the New World, except by people too lazy to check their facts. Even the entry in the leftist website Wikipedia states, in its first sentence, that "Virginia Dare … was the first English child born in … the New World." The first white child, as we keep patiently pointing out, was Snorri Thorfinnsson.
A third of a billion dollars, and they can't afford a fact checker? We do better than that here at VDARE.com, and — trust me — we don't have a third of a billion dollars.
And the whole piece is written in the stilted, formulaic language of Cultural Marxism. Everyone who opposes uncontrolled mass immigration is a "white nationalist." Everyone who wants to preserve the U.S.A.'s demographic balance — as Senator Edward Kennedy promised to do when presenting the 1965 Immigration Act — is a "racist." Any article not compliant with anti-white orthodoxy is a "screed" … and so on.
Stilted, formulaic, and dishonest. The Center for Immigration Studies is described in that SPLC article as "anti-immigrant." If you go to the CIS website you see they describe themselves as being, quote, "animated by a pro-immigrant, low-immigration vision which seeks fewer immigrants but a warmer welcome for those admitted." How is that "anti-immigrant"? You can have negative feelings about tsunamis without being "anti-water."
And yet the SPLC is quoted reverently in major media outlets like The Economist and the New York Times, as if this cheesy racket with its second-rate "reporting" were the National Institute of Standards. There is the real journalistic malfeasance.
I guess that's how things are in this fallen world. A third of a billion dollars won't buy you fact-checkers, or a decent regard for the meanings of words, but it'll have the world of so-called "serious" journalism lining up to kiss your ring.
03 — The Russia-Turkey chess match. On Monday this week in Ankara, the capital of Turkey, an off-duty Turkish cop shot dead the Russian ambassador to Turkey while the ambassador was attending an art exhibition.
The shooter shouted Islamic slogans and, quote, "Don't forget Aleppo! Don't forget Syria!" End quote. He tried to escape but was killed in a shootout with on-duty cops.
The humble commentator who ventures to say anything about this is wading into waters that soon get very deep. Turkey and Russia go back a long, long way. The Wikipedia article on Russo-Turkish wars lists twelve, spanning 350 years. Readers of Pushkin will recall that the present-day Turkish city of Istanbul was once known to Russians as Tsargrad, the Tsar's City … and so on.
Informed news commentary of the shooting reflects the many layers of possibility here. Was the shooter a random lone wolf, or was he the cats-paw of some other, hidden forces? Of ISIS or Al-Qaeda? Of Fethullah Gulen, the U.S.-resident Muslim cleric who Turkey has accused of masterminding the attempted Turkish coup in July? Of the U.S.A? Or some faction in NATO? Of the Jews or Freemasons?
No, I haven't actually seen any speculations that Jews or Freemasons were involved; but an incident like this stirs up all the world's conspiracy theorists, and when that happens you can be sure that Jews and Freemasons are going to be implicated somehow, by someone, somewhere.
Being temperamentally hostile to conspiracy theories, I'm going to take the shooter at his word and assume he's a disgruntled Sunni Islamist.
The Sunni-Shia split is the main fault line in Islam, and it creates a problem for Vladimir Putin. Bashir al-Assad, the dictator of Syria, lines up with the Shia; so of course does Iran, with which Russia also has a few centuries of dealings to reflect on. Putin needs that Syrian naval base; the Iranians see Russia as an ally against the Great Satan; Russia sees Iran as a fellow-victim of American-inspired sanctions, an ally against U.S. influence in the Central Asian Stans, and an ally also against Sunni fundamentalism among Russia's own Muslims; also as a market for military hardware.
So strategically Russia is inclined to the Shia side of the split. How do they work Turkey into that, though? Turkey is Sunni, so Russia and Turkey should be on opposite sides.
Ah, but Putin's grand obsession is the destruction of NATO. Turkey's a member of NATO. If Turkey could be prised free of the alliance, that would be a great coup for Putin. And of course Putin has no theological objections to Sunni Islam. To the contrary, Russian imperialists have a couple of hundred years' experience of managing Central Asian Sunnis.
So, a disgruntled Sunni Turk shooting a Russian diplomat is not going to add a thirteenth entry to the table of Russo-Turkish wars. Putin's too smart for that.
At week's end it looks in fact as though what the shooting has really done is to confirm Turkish President Erdoğan as Putin's bitch. Quote from Turkish analyst Melik Kaylan, quote:
Consider Erdoğan's predicament. The Kremlin will want a very substantial act of contrition … What can Erdoğan offer the Kremlin's thugs that they haven't already achieved? … They have humiliated and marginalized Erdoğan by stripping him of any claim that he leads the region's Sunnis … At this point, he will have to ask them what he can offer … Putin is nothing if not a grand strategist. He has Erdoğan where he wants him …
Again, these are deep waters, and I'm not a specialist in West Asian affairs. You don't need to be a chess master, though, to know who's winning when you watch a chess match. The Putin-Erdoğan match is heading into endgame, and my money's on Putin.
04 — Europe's slow suicide. Later on Monday another crazy Muslim ran amok in a different country. Twenty-three-year-old Tunisian immigrant Anis Amri hijacked a big rig and drove it into a crowd of Christmas shoppers in Berlin, Germany, killing twelve and injuring fifty.
That was Monday evening in Berlin. Three and a half days later, in the small hours of Friday morning, Amri was spotted by two cops in Milan, Italy. They accosted him; he shot and wounded one of the cops; the other cop then shot him dead.
Amri's immigration history is a case study of Western stupidity and incompetence. He was one of the early boat people leaving North Africa for the Italian island of Lampedusa in 2011. While there he was arrested for robbery, and arson — he helped set fire to a holding center for illegals.
The Italians put him in jail for four years. In Italian prisons, as in British and French prisons, radical Muslims are a major organizing force among the prisoners, so Amri got radicalized.
"After his release …" — I'm quoting here from the BBC News report — "After his release he was asked to leave the country," end quote. So I guess that went something like: "Scusi, Mr Fanatical Muslim Arsonist, would you mind leaving our country now, if it's no trouble?"
Amri did leave Italy. Taking advantage of Europe's wide-open internal borders, he went to Germany and applied for asylum. Another quote from the Beeb, quote:
His application was rejected by the German authorities but they were unable to deport him to Tunisia because he had no valid identification papers.
That phrase "valid identification papers" deserves a roll of the eyes all by itself. In the first place, it's common knowledge that these illegals throw away their passports when leaving their home countries, precisely to make it difficult to deport them. In the few cases where illegals do have any papers, those papers were purchased for cash from some forgery shop in a Middle Eastern bazaar, and bear no necessary relation to the illegal's actual nationality and origins.
There's no way for European governments to know where an illegal has come from, nor anything else about him. Britain recently cut a deal to take in child refugees from the illegals camp in Calais, Northern France. When the kiddies arrived, they turned out to be muscular six-foot guys with three-day growths of chin stubble.
So where are we with Anis Amri? His application for asylum in Germany was rejected in June, and he was ordered deported. So he was put on a plane back to Tunisia, right? [Laugh.] Of course not! In Euro-speak the phrase "ordered deported" means that some low-level state clerk gives you a sheet of paper saying that you have been ordered deported, then shows you the door — the door back out onto the street. That's all.
Mr Amri, as it happens, was fed up with Germany. He decided to head for Switzerland. However, and here I'm going to switch sources and quote from the New York Times, quote:
The police noted his deportation papers and detained him that weekend, but he was ordered released after 48 hours. His lack of Tunisian identity papers meant the German authorities could neither deport nor detain him.
You could hardly have a clearer illustration of the complete collapse of will on the part of Western Civilization to defend itself against foreign malefactors.
This really isn't rocket science. Sure, you can make a case for admitting some refugees from war zones into your country, but that should not include males of military age. There's a civil war in your country? Pick a side and get a weapon.
Female, infant, and agéd refugees aside, keep out anyone not holding a valid visa issued by your government. Keep them out; don't let them across your borders.
If unwanted foreigners do arrive on your territory somehow, send them back where they came from ASAP.
If you can't find out where they came from, or if the place they came from won't take them, put them in camps and keep them there under strict guard, basic food and medical attention provided, no luxuries.
Is it really beyond the abilities of European governments to institute such elementary measures for national self-preservation? Yes, apparently it is. So people out doing their Christmas shopping — families, children — are crushed and mangled to death by a crazy Muslim illegal.
This is what civilizational suicide looks like. You'll be seeing a lot more of it.
05 — The ghettoization of the West. And of course it's not just Europe. The U.S.A. is on the same path.
In Fiscal Year 2016, which ended September 30th, we took in 85,000 so-called "refugees," most from Syria, Afghanistan, Somalia and Iraq — countries that make Tunisia look like a suburb of Helsinki.
Eleven weeks into the new Fiscal Year, the day-to-day rate of intake is higher than at the corresponding time last year. Barack Obama has set a target of 110,000 for Fiscal 2017. Eighty thousand of those will be admitted after Donald Trump takes office; and it's going to be a key indicator of Trump's willingness to take on the bogus "refugee" rackets whether or not he shuts down the flow, as he has the power to do.
A key player here will be Trump's nominee for Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. Most of the key decisions about refugee intake fall under the State Department's purview. If Tillerson lets us down on this, and Trump lets him let us down, we'll know the new Chief Executive is not serious about bringing sanity to U.S. immigration policy.
The parallels with Europe are plain to see. We actually do sometimes deport illegals; but since they just turn round and come right back in again, it's hard to see why we bother. The guy who stole 86 pounds of gold from out of the back of a truck in New York City three months ago has just been identified. He's an illegal from Ecuador who's been deported four times.
Back to the "refugee" scams. Here is native Minnesotan Cain Pence (no known relation to Vice President-Elect Mike Pence), writing at American Thinker, December 22nd, quote:
For decades, liberal Europe encouraged Muslim immigration and turned a blind eye to radical clerics and segregated "no go zones." I am afraid the same reality has happened in Minnesota. Entire neighborhoods in Minneapolis, such as Cedar Riverside, dominated by low-income public housing high rises, are almost entirely Somali. Integration and assimilation have not occurred the way we were told by charities and Somali activists. A permanent, aggrieved underclass of Muslims ripe for radicalization is now the reality in the heartland of America. The parallels to France and other nations in Europe is both real and concerning.
That's not a voice from the Alt Right, either. If anything, Pence is an immigration romantic. His article actually includes the sentence, quote: "We are a nation of immigrants." He has eyes to see, though. What he sees in Minnesota is huge, permanent Islamic ghettos.
Which, again, is what you see in Europe. Last year British Prime Minister David Cameron ordered social welfare honcho Louise Casey to investigate and produce a report on the integration of minorities in Britain. That report was duly published three weeks ago. It's officially called The Casey Review, and you can read it for yourself on the internet.
It's not an easy read, all couched in the prim, constipated diction of social science professionals. Ms Casey — actually Dame Louise Casey, to give her her proper title, "Dame" being the female equivalent of "Sir" — the Casey person comes across as considerably worried by what she found but, trapped as she is in the multiculti mindset, not sure why she should be worried. This gives the whole report a slightly baffled quality.
If you can't face all 200 pages of the thing, there's an 18-page executive summary, also on the internet. Just for a flavor, here's Point 44 from that summary, quote:
Polling in 2015 … showed that more than 55 percent of the general public agreed that there was a fundamental clash between Islam and the values of British society, while 46 percent of British Muslims felt that being a Muslim in Britain was difficult due to prejudice against Islam. We found a growing sense of grievance among sections of the Muslim population, and a stronger sense of identification with the plight of the "Ummah," or global Muslim community.
Bottom line: Admit three million Muslims into a small, crowded, traditionalist Western country, you get isolated, concentrated ghettos nursing "a growing sense of grievance." Who would ever have guessed?
The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes.
Speaking as the author of the sentiment that, quote from myself fifteen years ago, "I don't see how you can ever have enough nukes," end quote, I am totally on board with The Donald here.
The more so as Trump's tweet followed a very similar statement by Vladimir Putin that same day concerning his country's nukes. "We need to strengthen the military potential of strategic nuclear forces," said Vlad.
That's bluster on Putin's part, but behind the bluster is cold calculation based on pressing economic realities.
The first and foremost of those realities is, that Russia is an economic basket case. As I have reminded you before, there is nothing in your house with a base sticker saying Made in Russia.
It follows from Russia's state of chronic basket-casedness that Putin has to think cheap. Military-bluster-wise, nukes are cheap, once you've got the manufacturing up and running, which of course Russia has. Adding a couple hundred nukes to your stockpile is way cheaper than adding a carrier group. Bluster for your buck, nukes are the way to go.
Another cheap way to make war, or to pose as being ready and willing to make war, is weaponized computer hacking — cyber warfare. Vlad's been waving that big stick, too, and doesn't mind a teeny bit that the U.S. establishment is all in a panic about Russian hackers manipulating the recent election.
Whether they did or not hardly matters: The impression that they might have done works wonders for Russia's image as a formidable military power, even as their aircaft carriers limp around with tugboats for company in case they break down.
I'd like to see Trump speak as forthrightly and aggressively on this other cheap-war option as he has on nukes. We have hackers too, don't we?
"But … but … but …," gasp the lefties, "But isn't the very existence of these horrible weapons an outrage? Shouldn't we be striving to rid the world of nuclear weapons, not always accumulating more of them?"
Well, perhaps we should. If we could that would certainly be a fine thing. We can't, though, any more than we could twenty or forty or sixty years ago. The only safety we've found in the nuclear age is in deterrence. Other nations won't nuke us if they know we can nuke them back. That's a true thing, and the mere passage of time doesn't make a true thing cease to be true.
Will deterrence go on working for ever? Who knows? Personally I doubt it. We're talking about 1940s technology, after all. A couple of major breakthroughs in theoretical physics and crazy people could be building nukes in their basements. Who knows?
We have to do our best to keep our nation safe, that's all. The best we can do right now is to have nukes coming out of our ears — bright, shiny, well-maintained, state-of-the-art nukes.
Trump is absolutely right on this one. Get those production lines moving, Mr President-Elect; get those centrifuges whirling!
Once again: I don't see how you can ever have enough nukes.
07 — Flakes on a plane. Also in Trump news: Trump Derangement Syndrome rages on. We Hutus may have got our man safely past the Electoral College, but our urban-elite Tutsis continue to froth and foam.
A couple of them were frothing and foaming very news-worthily Thursday morning at New York's Kennedy airport. A Jet Blue plane to San Francisco was boarding. Among the boarders were Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared with their three small children, aged five years, three years, and nine months.
Also headed to San Francisco was a pair of male homosexuals, Dan Goldstein and Matthew Lasner, with a small child they have apparently adopted. Goldstein spotted Ivanka and family in the departure lounge. Lasner was so excited he tweeted his excitement, tweet: "Ivanka and Jared at JFK T5, flying commercial. My husband chasing them down to harass them. #banalityofevil," end tweet.
Harass them he did. Boarding commenced; then, while Ivanka and Jared were settling in to their seats with the kids, Goldstein accosted them. "Your father is ruining the country," he told Ivanka. Then he went into an agitated rant, ranting to the universe at large, rant:
Oh my God. This is a nightmare. They ruin the country and now they ruin our flight! … Why is she on our flight? She should be flying private.
Ivanka handled the matter with great aplomb. The kids must have been scared, but she distracted them with coloring books. It's not clear from the news reports why Jared didn't sock Goldstein on the jaw. Possibly the fact that Goldstein was carrying his own toddler deterred him, Jared being unwilling to cause terror to a small child — unlike Goldstein.
More likely Jared and Ivanka have been drilled that in such situations they should let their security detail handle things. The security detail was indeed on the scene; but they in turn deferred to the Jet Blue cabin crew, who hustled Goldstein and his butt-buddy … I beg your pardon, his husband, off the plane.
Once off the plane, Lasner and Goldstein tweeted triumphantly about the incident. An hour later, realizing what asses they'd made of themselves, they deleted the tweets. Lasner deleted his entire account.
What do we learn from this, comrades? Well, nothing we didn't know before. Left-liberal Tutsis are vindictive and extremely ill-mannered. Left-liberal homosexual Tutsis are in addition hysterical. If the origins of the phrase "drama queen" were ever mysterious to you, the mystery is solved. And Ivanka Trump, as well as being smart and gorgeous, is a class act.
There has to be a victim here somewhere, though, doesn't there? What's a news story nowadays without a victim?
Yes, there's a victim, and I'm pretty sure I know who it is. The toddler that Mr Goldstein was carrying appears to be male. Assuming that Lasner and Goldstein are raising him as their son, you have to think that demons out of Hell must have attended that poor child's birth, to get him assigned to such a pair of crude, selfish, shrieking flakes.
If you're the praying type, listener, pray for that child.
08 — Miscellany. And now, our closing miscellany of brief items.
Imprimis: When I was growing up in England we took the local town newspaper. My mother's favorite pages were those recording births, marriages, and deaths. She referred to those pages as the "hatched, matched, and dispatched."
I keep meaning to institute a regular "hatched, matched, and dispatched" item here on Radio Derb, but then I keep forgetting. This week I didn't forget. I don't have any significant new matches to report, but I do have a hatched and a couple of dispatcheds.
Hatchee of the week — actually of the month: birth date was December 8th, I'm just late reporting it — is Deveraux Octavian Basil Jagger, eighth child of Rolling Stone Mick Jagger, born to ballerina Melanie Hamrick here in New York. So far as I can discover, mother and child are both thriving. Congratulations to the proud parents.
Given the dismal demographic statistics for Ice People that I was quoting for you last week, it's heartening to know that Mick continues to be generous in bestowing his genetic material on the world.
Heartening, too, to see some onomastic conservatism here. I don't know why Mick and Melanie picked Deveraux, but it's a fine dignified old Norman name, with I think vaguely Cajun connotations to American ears. Octavian refers of course to the infant being Mick's eighth, and also has a fine imperial ring to it. Basil was Mick's father's name, and adds a touch of royalty to the imperial theme.
In an age of silly celebrity baby names, this is, as I said, heartening. The London Daily Telegraph, in its notice of the Jagger birth, reminded us of some of those others: Uma Thurman's child Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence, for example. The really evil thing about names like that is that once you've heard them, you can't forget them: like Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa. Come to think of it, what's up with "Uma"?
Item: And then, on the dispatched side of the ledger, this week saw the passing of both showbiz celebrity Zsa Zsa Gabor and Dr Henry Heimlich of maneuver fame. Preparing this podcast, I ruminated some humorous way of yoking the careers of Ms Gabor and Dr Heimlich, but everything I came up with was outside the bounds of good taste. I shall therefore only note that both were of Hungarian-Jewish ancestry.
Not that "good taste" is the first thing that comes to mind when recalling Zsa Zsa. An indifferent actress, she was famous mainly for the number of her marriages and for the jokes about that number made by herself and others, notably Bob Hope.
It was all delivered with good humor, though. I doubt Zsa Zsa's career will be long remembered; but surely we can say of her what Dr Johnson said of the actor David Garrick: that her passing has "impoverished the public stock of harmless pleasure."
Dr Henry Heimlich died last Saturday in Cincinnati, aged 96. I was surprised to find, reading the obituaries, that he was a figure of some controversy. Even his critics, however, concede that lives have been saved by the Heimlich Maneuver.
Dr Heimlich left behind four children. Zsa Zsa, for all those marriages, seems to have engendered only one; and even that one was, Zsa Zsa claimed, the result of rape.
So from a coldly Darwinian point of view the ranking here is: Mick Jagger way out in front, Dr Heimlich considerably behind, Zsa Zsa trailing badly.
There is an expensive private high school in the Canadian province of British Columbia — and just to nail down that adjective "expensive": tuition is $30,000 a year — so there's this expensive private high school where a teacher was giving a class on criminal law and ethics. He made the point that one's personal morality is usually not a precise match with the law. By way of illustrating that, he said, quote:
I find abortion to be wrong, but the law is often different from our personal opinions.
A young female student left the class and went to the school administration. She complained that the teacher had "triggered" her to the degree that she felt "unsafe."
The teacher was fired.
It's not the guy getting fired that's outrageous here. In the matter of private-sector employment, I belong to the easy-come-easy-go school of thought. Fire who you like, for any reason you like, or no reason at all; they'll find another job.
A Randian objectivist would even argue that way in cases like the Disney workers fired so their jobs could be given to cheaper H-1B hires. Disney, he'd say, is only doing what a company should do: maximizing its profits. The fired workers don't have a case against Disney; they have a case against the U.S. government for its stupid and anti-American immigration policies. Personally I'd like my corporations a bit more patriotic than that; but it's a point of view.
What's outrageous in this high-school case is the school administration, which presumably is comprised of adults, folding to the demands of a whiny teenager who claims she felt "unsafe" because she heard something she disagrees with.
For $30,000 a year, upper-middle-class Canadians are enrolling their kids in a school where the febrile whims of teenage nitwits are taken seriously by adult administrators. That's outrageous.
Item: Just going back to my first segment there, and my point about the staleness and shoddiness of CultMarx rhetoric: down at the popular level — what you might call pop-CultMarx — things are even more dire.
You see this in the "hate" hoaxes our society is plagued with. Here's one from here on Long Island last week: a Punjabi immigrant named Jasskirat Saini has been arrested for marking up walls in his community college with swastikas and "KKK."
I mean, really: swastikas and "KKK"? That's not a hate crime: that's a dimwitted wannabe Social Justice Warrior's notion of a hate crime.
Is there anyone — really: is there anyone — who, reading about swastikas and "KKK" on the bathroom wall of a community college, doesn't know at once that this is a fake hate crime?
There are even fashions in these things you can track. A few years ago nooses were big. For your fake hate crime to make the newspapers, you had to include a noose.
Nooses seem to be passé among the fake-hate-crime perps of late 2016, but Donald Trump is currently big. November 1st a church in Greenville, Mississippi was set on fire and spray-painted with the words VOTE TRUMP. Wednesday this week a 45-year-old ex-con was arrested for the crime. He is of course black.
Nooses and VOTE TRUMP graffiti come and go, but swastikas and "KKK" are evergreen.
It's all so tawdry and transparent. I get bored trying to engage with this stuff. Don't we have any worthy enemies out there?
Item: Trump Derangement Syndrome is not the only medical condition brought into the world by our President-Elect. Here's another one: Trump Bedroom Backlash.
No, that's not an item on the menu at your local S&M parlor, it's a psychological condition afflicting the liberal goodwives of Los Angeles. So at any rate says sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson of that municipality. Quote from her:
Since Trump won a common complaint in my office is that women get more easily annoyed when their husbands or boyfriends initiate sex … One of my patients admitted, inner quote, "Since Trump won, the thought of having sex is unappealing to me. All I can picture is him boasting about exploiting women … It makes me sick."
End inner quote, end quote.
I'm tempted to write this off as Fake News; but since this is the impeccably reliable, deeply fact-checked Daily Mail website I'm reading, and since it's California I'm talking about, where nobody is quite right in the head, and since the election of Donald Trump has generated so much hysteria in so many people, and I know the etymology of the word "hysteria," I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt.
I'm also going to sign on to the commonest opinion expressed in the story's comment thread, which is: Thank goodness these people won't be reproducing! Three generations of imbeciles are enough.
09 — Signoff. That's it, ladies and gents, on this Christmas Eve Eve 2016. Thank you for listening, and a very Merry Christmas to all of you once again.
Let's have some Christmas music to play us out. In the past I've played Christmas carols, Christmas ballads, and Christmas novelty songs, but I don't think I've ever played a Christmas tear-jerker. So here, in case you are still ebullient from the Trump election victory, here's a little number to lower your spirits: The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot. The voice is that of Vera Lynn, the Forces' Sweetheart of WW2 — another Dame, a great favorite of my father's, and incredibly still with us, a few weeks short of her one hundredth birthday. Merry Christmas to you, Dame Vera!
There will be more from Radio Derb next week.
[Music clip: Vera Lynn, The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot]